This is not a quiz or test. There is no passing or failing grade. The purpose of the following questions is to stimulate your mind, heart and soul. Take an honest objective look at yourself, to recognize your strengths and your weaknesses in your relationships, but most important to take a good hard look at yourself and see how you can enhance the love in your life.
- Are you happy with the way you and your partner handle household responsibilities?
Not really... She does most of the house work and I do most of the bitching... Not fair, but I'm lazy...
- Do you express your honest feelings to your partner?
Most times... Only time I have a hard time with being honest is when it will be hurtful to her...
- Do you want to improve things in your relationship, but don't know where to begin?
Yes
- Do you give others the "silent treatment"?
Yes
- Do you think that one partner's judgement is more important than the other's?
Hmmm.. Depends on what we are talking about.
- Do you find yourself constantly working to get love, affection and intimacy from your partner?
Love and intimacy? No... Affection? Yes...
- Do you shy away from conflict with your partner?
Nope
- When you talk to your partner about your relationship, do you feel supported and understood?
Most times...
- Do you give in too quickly to end an argument?
Oh hell no...
- Are you moody or do you have a bad temper?
I think no, but everyone has their days...
- Are you the jealous type?
OH MY!!!! Very much so...
- Is there one person in your relationship that wants sex much more often than the other?
Yup... Me...
- Do you believe good relationships have no conflict?
A conflict free relationship is a fake relationship..
- Do others complain that you spend too much or too little?
Too much...
- Who compromises more often, you or your partner?
My wife...
- Have you become emotionally cold and numb inside?
No...
- Are you content with your physical appearance?
NO!!!
- Does your partner try to control or change you?
No...
- Does your partner sexually fulfill you?
If I was content with mostly at night, in bed, and the lights out... Yes... But I'm not... A surprise once in a while would be nice... But, she does know how to satisfy me very well...
- Do you fulfill your partner's sexual needs?
No... Wish I could, but I can't seem to...
- Do you trust your partner?
Yes...
- Does your partner have all the qualities you consider important in a mate?
YES!!!
- At times, is your partner too overbearing?
No....
- Is your partner living up to his/her potential?
And them some...
- Do you feel that your partner is distant from you even when you are lying beside them in bed?
Sometimes, but I know it's my insecurities that make me feel that way...
- Do you and your partner frequently argue but fail to resolve your differences?
I don't think so.. We get along great as far as I'm concerned...
- Was your parent's relationship close and happy?
Yes..
- Are you happy with the way you and your partner handle financial issues?
No... But I have no say in how it's handled since she makes the most money and pays the bills...
- Have you considered leaving your partner (or have you and your partner talked about separating)?
I have left my wife before... And regreted every second I was gone...
- Is your partner dependable?
Very much so...
- Does your partner ever exclude you from decision making?
Never...
- Do you feel responsible when you are in conflict with your partner?
If I know I'm in the wrong, yes...
- Do you ask for what you need from others?
Sometimes....
- Is your partner an optimist or a pessimist?
I can't say...
- Is there physical closeness and intimacy in your relationship?
Yes
- Does your partner embarrass you in public?
No...
- Do angry outbursts and arguments occur when you and your partner discuss things calm discussions seem impossible?
Hardly ever unless I'm joking with her... But I can't say never...
- Do you wonder where the love you and your partner used to show toward one another has gone?
She doesn't show love.. Never really has.... I used to, but got sick of giving and never getting affection...
- Do you and your partner communicate well?
I think so..
- Does your partner constantly criticize you?
Never...
- Do you believe romantic love fades with time?
Nope, only gets more creative...
- Do you and your partner argue about every little thing?
No....
- Can you be affectionate with your partner without it leading to sex?
I can... But she always seems to think that all I want is sex when being affectionate...
- Do you and your partner set aside special time to be together?
No...
- Do you ever seek the comfort from sources other than your partner (i.e.: from family, television, drugs, Internet friends, casual sexual encounters)?
I have, but that leads to trouble and I've caused enough of that...
- Do you ever neglect your relationship because of work or social responsibilities?
I don't think so...
- Is television an important part of your leisure time?
No..
- Are you jealous when your partner spends time with others?
Yes..
- How often do you go out on dates with your partner?
Not near as much as I would like.... But that is mostly because of babysitter or money issues or lack of either...
- Do you and your partner take the time to enjoy recreational activities with one another?
Only the ones we both like... Like CoD LMAO...
- How much time do you devote to your partner daily?
No much...
- How often do you go on a vacation or on special getaways alone with your partner?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... We wish...
- Does your family interfere with your relationship?
No...
- Does your partner spend too much time with family and friends?
No...
- How do you prioritize the following four items (with # 1 being your top priority)?
4 - Your career (Job)
3 - Your partner
1 - Your family (including children)
2 - Yourself
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Over the years I have put my wife through an emotional hell.. Yet, she keeps wanting me back...
I used to throw emotional bricks at her and have even hit her square in the head with 3 of them... She just tosses them aside and loves me...
Have I learned my lesson? That's a good question... I sincerely hope so... She tries so hard to make me happy, yet in the past I have tossed her aside and left like she was nothing to me...
In reality.. I love her with every ounce of love I can give... She has been nothing but good to me... Given me whatever I wanted... And for what? Nearly nothing in return... All she has ever asked of me is to love her back...
I have cheated on my wife three times... First was drunken retardation on my part that ended up producing a child.. Second was because of my need for affection that someone else was willing to give when she wouldn't... And the third was not a sexual relationship, but emotional... A friendship that got out of hand...
I regret all three.. I wish I could take them back... But I can't.. All I can do now is do everything in my power to win my wife's full ability to love me back... I'm sure I'll never regain her trust.. But that is something I will live with... All I want is for her to love me as she once did...
After the last time, she had a discussion (according to her) with another man.. This tore me up.. Still does when I think about it... I can't help but wonder if she told me the full truth about him... If all she did was talk to him on the internet... I mean hell, he only lives down the street a few city blocks... I don't know why I dwell on it.... I don't have any right to... But I do.... I can't help but think that she did let him come over and let something happen as revenge...
I mean, I trust her and believe her when she says that nothing happened and she never even told him where we live... But I go over what she told me again and again and find flaws in her story... Or maybe I'm finding flaws that aren't really there...
I also think that one of her friends convinced her that it was ok to get revenge and brought someone over or babysat while she went some where with someone.... But again, that is just my jealous side getting the best of me... I hope... She is secretive about talking to this friend.. She says it is because she knows I don't like her friend, but I think it is just an excuse... I've never stopped her from talking to this girl or said that she couldn't come over here... And this friend just happens to be the revengeful type...
I don't know... I should just stop thinking about it...
I really should...
All I have ever wanted from my wife is some playful affection like I used to do to her... I used to walk up to her and just get grabby... I can't help it... I like what I see... I like to touch... It just makes me feel that she doesn't feel the same way.... It hurts...
A lot...
I have told her this... Many times.. I've told her it makes me feel that she doesn't want me as much as I want her...
It seems to me that she seems to think all I want is sex... If she gives me that, then I will be happy... But that isn't all I want... Sure, sex is great... But I also like playful petting, or teasing... I would like to see her pull me away from a game and damn near rape me... And yes... I have told her all this too...
She says she is too shy... Afraid of rejection...
You would think that after 7 years and three kids, that this wouldn't be a problem...
You would think...
I think it is just an excuse... I think she does the things that does because she feels obligated... I don't want to be an obligation... The others didn't make me feel like an obligation... That's why what happened with them happened... I was wanted... And I liked the feeling... To be wanted... To be lusted after...
I know she loves me... I just wish she wanted me... Like I want her... I mean really want me... Not just want me enough to make me happy...
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Chip
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