My wife hates me

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Hello loyal readers....

You read that right, I sincerely think that my wife hates me... She's never happy with me...

Let's see, I started out our relationship being quite the asshole I think.... I don't know, never got sex so I had to find it elsewhere... Mistake on my part.... Did it twice though...

She will tell you 3 times, but the third time didn't involve sex in any way shape or form... Hell, never even seen that person without a shirt on... Granted, I did leave and go to her place... (I don't even know why I try to explain this) But I had no intention of having a sexual relationship with this person... I mean, sure, I kissed her a couple times.... But that's all I did... And for those of you that know me, I'm sure your ALL saying the same thing.... "BULLSHIT CHIP!!!" But if you really know me, you will know that I'm sincere when I say "I swear on my sister's grave"... Oh sure, I thought about it a time or two, but you would have to know this girl to know why I didn't let it go any furthor than that...

So, anyway.... That's one reason why she hates me... Well, three technically.... But let's group it into one so that I can feel better about myself in small insignificant way...

Ok, after we first got together and for a few years afterwards, I partied a lot... And I mean A LOT... I was never home... So, there is reason #2..

We are now at two reasons she hates me... Well, technically more, but we won't get into that again...

So, after a few years, I decide that maybe I should stay home and maybe she will start liking me again... I get bored very easily... I hate just sitting around... So I get more involved in my computer than I was before... And trust me when I say I was pretty involved in it before... You know, when I wasn't partying or whatever....

I started making some pretty good friends that I have to this day on the net... I was never one for chat rooms, but I did hang out in a couple of game rooms that I met some people... So, I got involved in my games... One was euchre... My wife got involved in it too... But apparently that wasn't enough to get her excited about me... Still no sex... So, apparently she still hated me and was hating me even more because I spent so much time on my computer...

That's three reasons my wife hates me...

My wife ended up getting a good job that allowed us to move into a house and eventually buy one... I setup many computers and by now that is all I do other than go to work... So, I work, come home and sit at my computer.... Go to bed at a decent hour (I work midnights, so 4 or 5am is a decent hour to me)... Why do I do this? Cause I'm bored... My wife wants me to hang out with her and the kids... Which, by the way, would be great.... Except what would we do, sit in front of the TV... Boring... I'm just not a TV watcher.... So, I try to come out of my hole once in a while and spend a little time... Not good enough though... She still hates me....

So, I have this to say..

Be happy your not with someone that is a drug addicted, acholic, wife abuser... I try my best to be nice to you, I have on soooo many occassions to be playful with you.... Which does work as long as it's me starting it... Sure, I sit on my computer all day when I'm not at work, but it's me... It's my addiction...

I'm so sorry I'm not the perfect man that every woman wants.... I'm sorry that I've tried my best to change myself.... I'm sorry I gave up a good portion of my friends to stay home more often... I'm sorry I can't stimulate you emotionally.... You compained in your blog about me coming home after being in jail and just sitting at my computer.... What else was I supposed to do? I have a business now on that computer that I'm actually trying to make work.... I have customers.... I'm just supposed to abandon them? I'm sorry I've tried to get you involved with some of my computer hobbies in order to help bring us closer... I'm sorry that when you want to go do something that I am more than willing to go with you... I'm sorry that I've told you time and time again anytime you want to talk or some attention that all you have to do is tell me or just come steal me away from my chair...

I'm sorry I'm not the man you are looking for.... I think I have tried over the years to change into what you want... Sure, it's slow, but I'm trying...

I'm curious though, what it is you want me to talk to you about.... I tell you everything that goes on in my life... Something happens at work, I tell you about it, something happens with PRO-HOST, I tell you about it... Something happens with my family I tell you about it... I mean, I'm sorry my life isn't exciting enough for you... That must be the problem, just because I don't always have something to talk about... I always thought we did a pretty good job at talking... I, and I say that boldly, I feel secure enough in our relationship to talk to you about anything... And I do.. Anytime I have an embarrasing issue, I tell you about it... Hell, I even admit to you that I masterbate when we aren't having sex enough... YOU won't even tell me about a sexual fantasy you might have... YOU try saying that you don't have any.... Bullshit...

Maybe it's you that needs to open up.... Maybe it's not me that has the talking about things issue... YOU couldn't even say your weight in front of me... I figured maybe the fact that I'm still sexually aroused by you would give you a clue that your weight doesn't mean anything to me...

Excuse me for being me... Being who I am.... I'm doing the best to be what you want me to be... I'm sorry I sit in front of my computer rather than in front of the TV....

If I sincerely make you that unhappy, then leave me... Cause I'm not going anywhere... I love you very much and THOUGHT we had a great relationship finally... But apparently not... I don't know what else I can do to make you happy....

Hell, I don't care about your size either.... Remember all those times I said I would let you know if you got too big? Have I yet? No.... And why??? Because I'm in love with you... IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!! I think you look great....

So people, that is reason number four that she hates me... Because I go off on tangents like that....

Oh well, my wife hates me and I love her.... I guess the ball is in her court... and dear wife of mine, don't make any decission about us based on you feeling guilty.... Make your decission from the heart and let me know.... No matter what... You tell me if your not happy... You tell me if you don't think this is gonna work between us..... At this point in my life, I doubt if I will be changing much more.... So let me know so we can move on with our lives...

Chip

Screw that dog

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So here is the story...

My dog, a 3 year old rot... Brought into the house from the pound a few months ago... Good dog... House broke, has one of them neato micro chips inplanted, listens (most of the time), and actually very friendly.... Most times...

So anyway, a few weeks ago, he bites my youngest son... I attribute it to the fact that my kid tried to take away his food and there was another dog next to him... Kid gets 3 stitches just under his nose between his nose and lip... Nice scar... But anyway... Just figured ok, he messed with his food while there was another dog right there... Instinct right?

So today, while sticking his nose in the trash and trying to get some food out my older son hits him a couple times to get him out of the food... The kid is almost 8, how hard can he hit?? I mean really.... The dog bit him too... He didn't break the skin this time but my kid has a huge set of teeth marks on him...

I told my wife the dog has to go... I don't care about the circumstances, I refuse to have a dog that is going to bite... Now, she's pissed and won't talk to me... I mean come on... These are her kids too... What happens the next time he bites one of these kids... I could be worse... My two sons are afraid of him now... Dogs smell that... I don't want there to be another time so I am sticking to my guns... The dog is out of here... I don't want it...

Then, in the mist of my wife trying to get me to keep the P.O.S. dog, she tells me about my roommate's dog biting one of the kids... I mean, supposably one of the kids pulled his tail, but so what... My roommate is gonna be depressed if that happens again... The dog will go.... And not just tied up outside... I don't wanna listen to that spoiled whiney focker crying 24/7 because he is tied up...

I think I'm tired of dogs.. Our last dog, although it was just that she was a very hyper pup that played too rough, was a biter... I got rid of her... Pure bred Shelte... Beautiful dog..... But hell if I'm gonna have a biter...

Anyway.... Enough about dogs...

I got a pair of kittens that are pretty good.... :D

Chip

Sad Day when I should be somewhat happy

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Remember those ^

Anyway....

So, my oldest daughter gets ahold of me one day and says she wants to get to know her biological father... I'm all for it.. I want nothing more than to have her in my life..

She comes over and we just hang out.... Doing nothing really... Great kid with what appears to be a solid head on her shoulders... So, she comes over the next week and we pretty much do the same thing....

I decide that maybe she is legit in wanting to get to know me and decide to do a lunch date with her so that she can pound me with nagging questions she might have... But, I have't seen her since... I've talked to her a couple times, but it was mostly about nothing...

I'm kinda heart broken now... I was really hoping to strike up some kind of relationship with her... I never had one to speak of... Her step dad has been her father for years... I want nothing more than more than to be her father and possibly one day be her dad.. But apparently that won't be possible...

She's a very beautiful young woman... Just like her mom... And apparently has the same attitude LMAO...

Oh well, what can ya do.... I was absent for most of her life, so the only person I can blame is myself... Who knows, maybe one day I'll earn her trust and respect.... The most I can do now is try...

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Other things in my life? Who cares....

Chip